"I thought it was just me..."

"I Thought It Was Just Me" is the title of another book that Brene Brown has written on shame and shame resilence.   The more I read Brene's work the more I see how insidious and prevalent this is in our society.  One very important way that we can become kind, compassionate and true to ourselves,  is by becoming "shame resilient".   The thing about shame is that everyone has it.   We cannot get rid of it but we can learn to identify it and move through it.  All of us want to be perceived in a certain way. We have an ideal of how we want to be seen.  We also have "unwanted identities" of how we don't want to be perceived.   Many of these unwanted identities come from our family of origin.   Of course, often society and culture contribute to these identities.
There are certain things that trigger our shame.   Brene calls them "shame triggers". 
However if we view vulnerability and shame as "weakness", we are less likely to investigate our own shame triggers.  Understanding our vulnerability and shame is a source of strength and this will lead us to finding the support we need to see the big picture (context) aswell as "normalizing" and "demystifying" it.

Vulnerability and Shame

This quarter our hot topic, our theme, is shame.   I know that sounds scary and frankly it is.
It is scary partly because we don't talk about it.    Shame often involves aspects of ourselves that we keep hidden.  We think if people knew "that" about us they would think less of us.  We would rather put up a good front and somehow fit in.  However, that kind of thinking takes its toll.   We live with constant fear, however deeply buried, that we will be found out.    Instead we keep dancing, as fast as we can.    Some of the things we keep hidden have to do with a huge range of issues: appearance and body image, family, relationships, parenting, money, work, health, addiction, sex, aging and religion to name a few of the main ones.  Yes, to feel shame is to be human.
What I hope we will all learn, as we wade through some of this, is to become more shame resilient.   In doing that we will relax into being more ourselves, more authentic, with a whole lot less fear and anxiety and ultimately more lovable and more real to each other.

The book I am using this quarter as a resource is Brene Brown's  The Gifts of Imperfection.  I would encourage you to get your own copy of this book and keep it close.   It is full of down to earth wisdom.

Spring classes begin next week...

Hello everyone.  Spring classes will begin soon.   Hope you are as ready as I am.    I do think 2 weeks off is good for all of us.   It gives me a well needed break and it gives you a chance to re-think what your yoga means to you and do some practice on your own, if you are not already.   Most of you know more than you think.   However when it comes to stepping onto your mat, alone, it can be scary!!! No one to tell you what to do!!!!    A teacher of mine once said, " let your inner guidance lead you", don't worry about right and wrong.  Just get into your body and explore shapes, sensation, breath.   When you find that child within it will be easier to let go of judgement and just play.
SEE YOU SOON.

SET THE COMPASS OF YOUR HEART

From our discussion last week, I shared this with you.

Jack Kornfield writes in his a brief article entitled, "Set the Compass of Your Heart",   "No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we can always set our compass to our highest intentions in the present moment."   If you have enough awareness, you take the pause and ask yourself, "what is my highest intention in this moment?"
Recently I had an opportunity to use this skillful action.   It made all the difference.   I was not tempted to go back into the past and feel the grievances from before.    I let them go and set my heart compass.
Everyday we can set our compass... but we will only do this if we take the time to press the "reset button". :)

Registration for Spring Quarter

Can you believe it, we are coming up to Spring Quarter...      SO, that means time to register for classes.
Don't wait...  classes fill up, especially the Wed morning class.

APARIGRAHA- Non-attachment, non-possessiveness.

When we discuss non-attachment it invites us to look at how we so often cling to wanting life to go the way we want.  However, we see that in fact we are never sure how things will unfold and turn out.
We also find that everything changes.
 If we identify too strongly with what we think, our understanding, our opinions, our likes and dislikes we may find our world becoming more and more narrow and we become more contracted.
The practice of letting go is built into our yoga practice.   Our last pose, Savasana, is the pose of surrender, the pose of deep rest and release.   When we practice Savasana, we embody this quality of yielding and accepting what is in the moment.  However, we do not have to be in the pose to practice this.  Everyday we have opportunites to let go of a thought, a negative feeling, a judgement, a disappointment,  and invite in something new... we become more spacious, more open to change.
We become more curious and more loving.

Brahmacharya- right use of energy, moderation, restraint.

This yama focuses on using energy wisely... physical energy, mental energy, emotional energy, sexual energy etc.
If we overindulge, we have little energy left for things that we value and are part of a healthy life.
One can overindulge in almost anything... including things we may think are essential or part of a wholesome life.     When we practice restraint, we are able to create balance and wholeness.

Some examples of things we might indulge in are: working, shopping, watching TV, sleeping, exercising, eating, using the computer, talking and answering cell phones and so on.  We can become addicted to almost anything...   It might be helpful to examine your routines and rituals to see if there is anything that deserves some restraint.