"I thought it was just me..."

"I Thought It Was Just Me" is the title of another book that Brene Brown has written on shame and shame resilence.   The more I read Brene's work the more I see how insidious and prevalent this is in our society.  One very important way that we can become kind, compassionate and true to ourselves,  is by becoming "shame resilient".   The thing about shame is that everyone has it.   We cannot get rid of it but we can learn to identify it and move through it.  All of us want to be perceived in a certain way. We have an ideal of how we want to be seen.  We also have "unwanted identities" of how we don't want to be perceived.   Many of these unwanted identities come from our family of origin.   Of course, often society and culture contribute to these identities.
There are certain things that trigger our shame.   Brene calls them "shame triggers". 
However if we view vulnerability and shame as "weakness", we are less likely to investigate our own shame triggers.  Understanding our vulnerability and shame is a source of strength and this will lead us to finding the support we need to see the big picture (context) aswell as "normalizing" and "demystifying" it.

Vulnerability and Shame

This quarter our hot topic, our theme, is shame.   I know that sounds scary and frankly it is.
It is scary partly because we don't talk about it.    Shame often involves aspects of ourselves that we keep hidden.  We think if people knew "that" about us they would think less of us.  We would rather put up a good front and somehow fit in.  However, that kind of thinking takes its toll.   We live with constant fear, however deeply buried, that we will be found out.    Instead we keep dancing, as fast as we can.    Some of the things we keep hidden have to do with a huge range of issues: appearance and body image, family, relationships, parenting, money, work, health, addiction, sex, aging and religion to name a few of the main ones.  Yes, to feel shame is to be human.
What I hope we will all learn, as we wade through some of this, is to become more shame resilient.   In doing that we will relax into being more ourselves, more authentic, with a whole lot less fear and anxiety and ultimately more lovable and more real to each other.

The book I am using this quarter as a resource is Brene Brown's  The Gifts of Imperfection.  I would encourage you to get your own copy of this book and keep it close.   It is full of down to earth wisdom.

Spring classes begin next week...

Hello everyone.  Spring classes will begin soon.   Hope you are as ready as I am.    I do think 2 weeks off is good for all of us.   It gives me a well needed break and it gives you a chance to re-think what your yoga means to you and do some practice on your own, if you are not already.   Most of you know more than you think.   However when it comes to stepping onto your mat, alone, it can be scary!!! No one to tell you what to do!!!!    A teacher of mine once said, " let your inner guidance lead you", don't worry about right and wrong.  Just get into your body and explore shapes, sensation, breath.   When you find that child within it will be easier to let go of judgement and just play.
SEE YOU SOON.