"The Riptide of Strong Emotions"

This chapter in Farhi's book draws our attention to how a strong emotion can lead to a reactive, indulgent moment where we feel compelled to just vent. We have all felt that overwhelming need to release an emotion, to find a quick way to reduce the pressure that is building up inside of us.
We may even tell ourselves that it was the right thing to do because the receiver of our venting "had it coming".... it was justified!
However unskillful venting often leads to further problems for both the receiver and the doer.
We might ask ourselves " Am I a reactive person?" "Am I able to identify a feeling and then take a moment or more to decide what would be the most helpful response to this situation?" If we are reactive, our responses will probably create a greater emotional charge and defensiveness. When we actually take time to feel what is happening in our bodies, we can recognize what is going on.
Hurt and fear can turn to anger very quickly. If we catch the hurt first, we can catch the disappointment and sadness. We can then see it as something that we can open to in ourselves instead of harming someone else with a "knee jerk" response.
We can pause and then say something that is helpful to the situation. We can also decide to say nothing... saying nothing is sometimes a bigger statement.